The Self-Love Recovery Podcast

The Broken Picker: Why Trauma Keeps Choosing Your Partners

Ross Rosenberg, M. Ed.

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0:00 | 27:42

Have you promised yourself "never again" — only to find yourself falling for the same kind of partner with a different face? In this episode, Ross Rosenberg explains why willpower, checklists, and even years of research on narcissism aren't enough to stop the cycle. The culprit is what Ross calls the "broken picker" — an unconscious force shaped by childhood attachment trauma that overrides your conscious mind and steers you straight toward narcissistic, controlling, or emotionally unavailable partners.

Drawing from his Human Magnet Syndrome theory, Ross reveals why codependents (those with Self-Love Deficit Disorder) and pathological narcissists are magnetically drawn to one another, why dating apps and compatibility quizzes can't protect you, and why "chemistry" so often lies. Most importantly, he walks you through the path out: healing core shame, integrating the wounded inner child, and rebuilding the relationship template from the inside so your picker finally points toward safe, mutual, self-love-abundant partners. If you're ready to stop dancing with the same partner and start choosing love consciously, this episode is your roadmap.

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ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG 
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.

Ross's pioneering contributions to codependency have provided sweeping theoretical and practical updates and developed a treatment program that permanently resolves the issue. Ross has been featured on national TV and radio and is a regular radio and podcast guest. 

In addition, he has traveled the world, giving his one-of-a-kind keynote presentations and educational workshops. His global impact is best illustrated by his YouTube channel, with 30 million views and 297,000 subscribers, and the sale of 190,000 Human Magnet Syndrome books published in 12 languages. In 2013, Ross created The Self-Love Recovery Institute, a hub for his personal development, workshops, professional training, retreats, other programs, and services.

Learn more at www.SelfLoveRecovery.com. 

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